Really don't know

I just really don't know. I don't know what to think. I don't know where we are headed and I'm really confused but this is very enjoyable. Not planning anything big or any future except what is happening just next weekend not what is happening weeks or months from now unless it involves him leaving which I am also confused on. He says now he doesn't know when in Dec he is leaving if it will even be in Dec. I'm nervous about that very nervous about that because I would be flattered if I am the reason you stayed but I will be terrified if I am the reason he decided to stay a little longer. I will say that I have had the most fun that I have had in a long time meeting Omar. I have been to two concerts and going to my 3rd. The cooking lessons, the time together, the learning of each other we are doing is great. Going with the flow is a little scary but fun at the same time.


I can't believe Ellie brought her toy to him and snuggled up with him in bed. I mean all this could end tomorrow and I can just enjoy the time that we had, I so know that and realize for any reason he could be gone tomorrow. I will be very hurt when he is leaving for home or at least to the next state for his job. Ok, I digress; I still can't believe how well behaved she was last night and I'm still really excited she didn't use the potty in his place. She did all her business outside like a good little pooch but back to what I was saying, he threw the toy, Ellie went to go get it and instead of bringing it back to me like she usually does when anyone throws it she brought it back to him. I don't think she cares to much for the company that came over but I think that will change. She was just trying to be protective last night but I still can't believe it. She actually watched him throughout the movie. It was funny.

Last night though I felt a little inadequate in the political conversation because I haven't dealt with politics since my husband and I separated. I mean that is all the husband could talk about and it would drive me fucking mad although we agreed but sometimes he would beat the fuck out of a dead horse. All I know is, I am going to vote again although I feel my vote doesn't count what so ever. I think a democrat is going to win just because the place is tired of the republicans fucking up as usual. Company could be right or wait the man could be right about the us not being for a black or woman president but what plain jane white guy is out there running for the crats, no one so what choices are left when we and the I'm sure the entire world are ready for the republicans to move around for a long bit if not forever, lol.