It is leaving Dec. 1st which is kind of fucked up because we are getting along so great but oh well I guess all good things must come to an end. I really was enjoying this particular cloud. Someone said I am completely myself around him and I guess I can tell that I am being myself instead of what I think they want me to be. I don't know though. It is early and of course you know how all things go so maybe it is good we are splitting at this time but hell I don't know what I am saying. Not like I am love but damn I was starting to have fun with him now I only have like a month and a half to enjoy him. I am glad I cancelled other plans I had going on to see him. I believe I would have been thinking about him the entire time I was out so I'm glad I cancelled. It was well worth it. Even though he is out with my best friend right now doing gawd knows but I gotta trust him and her now don't I until they prove me different. That is a lot of trust but I can do it, I'm being silly. Jealousy is an ugly thing but when you only have someone for a little while longer what do you do? I mean come on, you gotta understand where a girl is coming from. I'm so tipsy from doing shots it is not even funny, ok I'm not like that yet or anything but a girl just had to say something cuz I am also stoned in a very good way. Oh but the rice is fucking up!! It can't fuck up now. I can't be trying to cook for him and then the rice wants to act a donkey fool. Gosh man am I asking for too damn much at this moment in time!?!?! I can't be please rice come on and turn out right. Part of me wants to go outside so bad but I am trying to be the bigger person and you know what it isn't my mind that has to live with it. Ok just getting what I feel out. I can't believe Reese just sent me a text asking if I missed him yet. Damn dude how long has it been? I mean come on if I missed you don't you think I would have contacted you by now? I mean really? I sent him something asking him how long has it been? I haven't heard from him yet. Ok this entry can't be about what I really want it to be about so I'm just going to jet for the hot moment. Arrrrrrrrrrgh, I had this for a completely different reason and now it isn't working out.
Ok I would have been completely ok if Omar didn't say something that he did. Now it is bothering the FUCK OUT OF ME!!! I don't know why but it fucking is. "Don't worry I'm not going to do nothing with her." Ok gee fucking thanks, the thought wasn't anywhere near my head but since you brought it the fuck up it is bothering the fucking hell out of me. What else am I suppose to be thinking at the moment. I'm well on losing my buzz. I mean I actually just lost my buzz. I'm trying to be nice and not continue by myself and hello eat. It is like what 8:42pm. The hateful part in me wants to be in the shower when they walk in just to piss Omar off. Well it wouldn't exactly piss him off but he would be a little p'turbed because he does want to shower with me or so I think. Hmmm, I wonder what all that is about. I was fucking fine now it is driving me fucking looney. I want to scream so fucking bad I guess that is why I am on here about to scream right now. Nothing like a good scream while getting blowed and before you lose your mind.
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