Thought Invasion

He has interrupted my thoughts several times this evening. I have tried to smoke, jam, eat, orgasm yet everything I have tried he invades my thoughts like space invaders and I think it is rude. I can't help but play Hey Sexy Lady by Shaggy and Sean Paul. I mean WTF!?!?! man. I feel he is out dating/fucking/sleeping with someone else which I shouldn't care as long as he treats me like I'm the only one in the world when I am with him. That should be the only thing that matters and truly it does because I really terribly enjoy being with him when I am but gosh when he isn't with me he plays space invaders in my mind and I swear that is just wrong. Not to mention I'm listening to the very song that makes me think about him. I don't know what it is about this song but it brings him into my mind and a smile on my face. Then I am listening to it on the system he bought me. *SSSSSCCCCRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!*



I just had to scream. He was driving me to scream. I am sure he is out with his friends shaking it. What will piss me off though is if he was out with his friends at the State Fair after he offered Mel and I could join but I don't believe, I hope he wouldn't do that. I guess my mind is just wondering because he sent me a text at 7:17p tonight, I responded back and what no answer. Something about that doesn't surprise me and I should move on but part of me is on the wonder. I mean hell if someone treated you the way he treats me would you want someone else to be getting what you are getting at the same time? Damn I know he is leaving in Dec, can't he just wait until then. I mean the thought of him dancing up on some other girl drives me fucking insane. I mean something fucking serious. I am cool though. I just need to get it out. I guess I just want and miss him at the moment.

Is he thinking of me? What is on his mind? Surly it can't be me since he never responded at all and here it is 2:29am. This is freaking crazy. I mean shit, I know he doesn't do this when I'm out and about and he is out home chilling on it. I'm sure I'm the furthest thing from his mind. I'm listening to the Lemon Tree. Something of his I downloaded from his downloaded music. I need to go over there and get more of it because I am missing some items. This is freaking retarded.
Thinking of just being alone and being in his arms. I know I gotta get out and do stuff with him because yes of course that is also where it is at but damn the thought invasion is something serious. Tomorrow I am giving him choices on what to do after pizza. I am nervous about the choice but he will have plenty. I decided on pizza so the activity is his for the choosing.

What the hell is it about him that has me just so all fucking all over the wall? Why can't I treat him like every other guy trying to seduce me and win me over? Grrrrrrrr this is so freaking hard to understand. Ass like that by eminem is on. YOu know just another song to think about his crazy monkey ass. Hope he doesn't read this one day but maybe by then he'll understand that monkey ass was used as a term of endearment. The people that know about him ask do I have a picture which I do and *GASP* I just realized he has pictures of Mel and I doing crazy things. I need to get back on the workout. I need to hit that something serious come Monday. I need to get back in shape. You know get back to that body that turned Omar on. Yeah baby, I gotta get hot again. Hell who knows I might just hit it this weekend.