Here it is Wednesday and I have not a clue as into what I am doing this evening. Omar hasn't made any plans with me yet for this evening so I guess I'm not seeing him this evening. Bryan and his girlfriend have already hit me up so I guess I'm seeing them around 7pm tonight. Who knows what we'll end up doing over there. He just turned 40 yesterday so he is still the birthday boy, lol. I assume Omar is waiting until the long weekend to do something but with him who knows. Hit him up with a simple text Hello yesterday and then about 830ish hit him up again. Well his battery was down all day so he didn't hit me back up until 9ish when he got home to recharge it. Of course I'm curious, of course I'm a little piturbed he is just now getting back home at 9ish to recharge it when I know he gets off work way earlier than that, of course I want to ask well where were you. Of course I want to do all those things but I realize and understand I can't. He isn't mine to do so with. I guess it's the fact I enjoy him so much and he is leaving in Dec. Of course I don't want him to go but you know I knew he was leaving from jump. Hell I wasn't suppose to like him this much, I wasn't suppose to enjoy his company at all. I don't even think I was going to give him a chance after the first date but here it is a few weeks later and we've seen each other twice every week since then. The more time I spend with him the more I start to like him. I'm trying not to let him know or show it too much. I don't want to push him away being he is leaving anyway. He said he'll be back but that could be years from now. I mean he has been over here for years whose to say he won't be where he is going or will end up for years before I see him again.
He made me smile a few times I was over there with him this last time and I'm not talking just sex either. He said a few things that made me blush. Me laying down on the floor next to him was nice and he is going to get me to spend the night yet. I blushed it was sweet. It has been a while where I could just be me. I was me with my husband but not completely me. My husband wouldn't dare lay on the floor to watch tv and he damn sure wouldn't have stayed there just to have me lay next to him.
I'm just nervous and don't know what to do with myself. I haven't dated anyone in 7-8 years and my husband has ruined me for certain things and this being one of them. I don't want to be clingy or suffocating. I'm trying to back off and let him make a move or two but he already told me he wouldn't contact me too much because he doesn't want to be a bother. I'm afraid we'll both try not to bother each other and not call like we want to.
I don't know what to do I don't know what to do. I'm blogging to get this off my chest cuz this is just crazy I think. I have just got to tell him, look sometimes I don't know what to do. Sometimes I don't know if I should text you or not. I don't know if I am bugging you or not. I know you aren't mine to control and I wouldn't ever want to control you, I know we aren't in a relationship, nothing serious. I know you are free to date other people but I guess my problem is, is I like you way too much way too fast and I'm about to scream over here.
He has done it to me again, shocked me. He texted me and now I don't know how it happened but I'm seeing him Thursday (tomorrow), Friday and Sunday. What the hell, how the heck did that happen? Am I going to have to board the pooch for all this time spending? He swooped in and got all my free days. I can't believe it. My mouth is literally on the floor and I am confused, roflmbao. Welp I am seeing him those days. I wonder if he will let me bring my Elefantita over or do I need to let Steven watch her or what's going on. I guess we will see when I see him tomorrow and ask him face to face if I can bring his favorite "rat" over, lol. My pooch is NOT a rat!!
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